Joker's Bride
by Moonliterose42
Summary: May is an average girl who is taken hostage by none other than Joker: Batman's arch enemy. But as she gets to know him better do the tables turn? Does she end up falling for the Joker? Does the hostage situation turn in to something else?
1. Chapter 1

"There has been two killings at the North East bridge

"There has been two killings at the North East bridge. Officials say that the killer is none other than the Joker: Gotham's number one criminal mastermind. He has just killed two men in that owned the truck he jacked. He is now being pursued by police and Batman…" buzzed the T.V. as I was making breakfast in the kitchen.

I put down the pan of hash browns to look at the television. It showed a picture of Joker make his famous smile at the camera. I sighed at how the city of Gotham has let it's self go. It's crime rate's had gone up. A video of the crime popped up on the screen. I leaned against the kitchen chair watching.

Joker came up to the truckers while they were drinking coffee. He put a knife to the first man who was wearing a plaid shirt over his tubby stomach and a cowboy's hat. The Joker put the knife right up to the man's lips. He muttered something but the camera didn't pick it up. The other frightened man was trying to beat up the Joker's back by hammering his fists on his back. But it didn't seem to faze the Joker. The scared man let out a cry, and the Joker slowly cut at the side of his mouth. Pain struck the poor man as the Joker then preceded to cut the other side of his mouth. Blood streamed from the knife and each crack of the man's skin on his permanent smile.

The other man who was still trying his best to beat up the Joker. But the Joker, with out even turning around, slashed his hand and knife at the other man's neck, spurring out blood. Now both men lay on the street floor. Joker wipes the knife and lets out his horrible laugh as he slips in to the stolen truck, and drives away. He then hit the camera with the truck.

And right at that moment the smoke alarm went off. I jumped back from watching the T.V. I sprinted to the stove and poured the open milk on to the burning potatoes.

:

"Hurry up May! Mr. Falt won't wait forever! He needs those papers!" called Max, the second in command at the Gotham Police Station. I'm Mr. Falt's new secretary. He's the chief, and I had promised him the papers to the new Joker's case yesterday.

"I've got them!" I breathed jogging in my high heels, the papers in my hand above my head. I put them on his desk and went to one side of the room, brushing my skirt and blouse to get out the wrinkles.

"Very good." Mr. Falt said.

"Sir we need to find out what Joker's next move is." Max said getting to the point.

"He's been doing regular crimes, but each with a twist. Each with a certain horrible ending instead of just a regular kill." Mr. Falt said lost in thought and putting his hand on his chin to make it look like he was thinking hard.

"His next target is Bill's Barn." Came a voice from the shadows. Batman stepped out of the corner, dressed in his suit and mask. His low voice felt like sand paper against my heart.

"How do you know that?" Max asked.

"And how in the world do you do that? I was watching the door and everything…" Mr. Falt whispered to himself.

"Joker's planning to blow up the city…" Batman said.

It seemed as though they had forgotten I was there, because I let out a gasp and no one did anything. Or maybe they just didn't care…

"But why Bill's Barn?" Max asked.

"Think about it…Bill's Barn is the number one place in the city to buy gasoline and canned carbon dioxide. That store gets thousands of tons of each substance a week. If Joker gets his hands on both of those and a box of matches, he could easily blow Gotham to bits." Batman explained.

"Oh…" Max said a little put off.

"Well we'll get right on it." Mr. Falt said looking at the stack of papers I had set on his desk," Will you be our back-" He looked up and Batman was gone," –up…"

:

"See ya tomorrow Gladice!" I called. I waved to my co-worker and left the giant building. I wrapped my long coat close to me as I shuffled in to the street avoiding traffic.

It was late July, but Gotham's weather is never "beautiful" to say the least. Once on the other sidewalk, I walked the two blocks to my apartment. But before I could reach the door, I turned around and went further down the block realizing I was all out of bread, milk, and cat food. So I walked to the nearest grocery store.

I looked through the isles and got all the things I needed, plus some lemon heads because they are my favorite, and paid. I took the bags and left the store. I waited for the old sliding doors to open and I stepped out. My lungs and heart got a jump-start when I heard all the noise and commotion in the next building: Bill's Barn….

Police cars, swat teams, and police men with mega phones were lined up in front of the store. They aimed their guns at the entrance of Bill's Barn. I moved a little ways forward and realized that I had to go around the group of cops. So I started to walk, fast, and swerved around the police cars.

"Joker we know you're in there now come out with your hands up!" Mr. Falts yelled through the mega phone.

A cackling sound came from one of the windows on the top building. Joker had his knife to the store clerk's cheek. The police aimed their guns higher.

"You're names not Bill?" The Joker taunted the short, tan man. The man's name tag read Kevin," And yet this store is clearly labeled: Bill's Barn. I see no Bill and I see no barn…"

"I-I-I just w-work here…" Kevin said in-between gasps of breaths.

"Awww…You know what I do with liars?" The Joker said in a baby voice.

Kevin shook his head and a tear streamed down his cheek.

"Awwwwww…" The Joker said again, and then broke out laughing.

"GIVE US THE BOY JOKER!" the chief yelled.

"You wanna trade huh?" The Joker yelled from the window. He scanned the 'audience'…and finally his eyes came upon a girl, who was walking fast through the crowd of police.

"How about that girl!"

All the cops turned to face me. Then a few came up to me. Each grabbed an arm.

"What the!?" What are you doing!" I screamed taken by surprised.

"Sorry May, but that boy is the mayor's son. We don't want to do this but we have to." Mr. Falt said sorry faced.

"NO!" I dropped my groceries (but not my lemon heads! I stuck those in my pocket earlier! Cus' I'm smart!) I struggled to get out of the two cops strong grips.

They dragged me up to the building doors, and shoved me in. The store's power was out, making the room dark. I climbed the stares to the second floor. I hugged my arms and looked around, alert.

I came to the room the Joker was at. It was pitch black, except the window's light.

I stepped in and was grabbed by the arm. Joker took the knife to my throat.

"Hello, hello, hello," He whispered in my ear," How are you pretty lady?"

I could feel my heart race and the sweat begin to build up.

He had Kevin in his other hand. He scooted us both to the window, knife still on me.

"THANK YOU!" He yelled.

"WE WANT THE BOY NOW!" Mr. Falt yelled.

"WHAT EVER YOU SAY CAPTAIN!" The Joker yelled back. He then pushed Kevin out the window. I let out a scream, along with all the other spectators below. He landed on the pavement, and made the loudest and most horrible crunching noise as his head smashed. I turned my head in horror.

Blood pooled around the dead body below. The Joker let out another evil laugh that filled the air. And a crowd of people rushed to the body.

"Where's Batman…?" I thought to myself.


	2. Chapter 2

Night fell on the first day of my abduction by the Joker…It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be

Night fell on the first day of my abduction by the Joker…It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. The cops camped out in front of the building. The boy's body had been carried off hours ago. The dark room got darker. And all the Joker did was sit in front of the door that was my only escape, besides the open window that I sat under.

I hugged my knees, and put my head on them. I let out a loud sigh after watching the Joker for what seemed like forever. Probably a little to loud, because he lifted his head up from his limp doll position, his first movement in hours.

"What are you bored?" he said in a mocking tone.

"….Kinda…" I said propping my head up, surprised that he'd said something.

"Oh…. I guess I need to practice hosting a hostage…" he said sarcastically.

I nodded, not thinking he'd see. He crawled over to me from the door, the sound of his knife in his hand clinking against cement floor made me freeze, and let go of my legs and put my head up against the wall. He leaned him self up against the wall beside me. The city lights creeping in from the window shined against his shaggy green hair, and bright red scars.

"You think of something we could do…"he said turning on his right shoulder to look at me with his dark black eyes. He smacked his knife against the hard wall and slid it to my cheek. It poked my face a little, enough to make my heart rate skyrocket. Beads of sweat would have slipped down my face, but the wind from the open window sent a chill down my body making it hard not to freeze.

"I-I don't know…" I stammered…

"Lets play twenty questions…." He started, licking his lips," What's your name?"

"M-May…" I said trying not to shake because there was a sharp knife to my face.

"Ah…pretty…" he said staring at me and slipping the knife closer to my lips," Joker…What's your favorite color…?"

"G-green!" I yelled struggling to say it because the knife was so close my mouth.

"Good answer…" he smiled and pulled the knife a little bit farther away from my mouth," Last question…for now…Are you single…?" he used his free hand to pull a stray strand of my blond hair out of my face.

I thought for a long while about this. If I said yes he might not kill me. If I said no he'd probably kill me on the spot.

"Y-yes…." I stammered.

"Hmmmm…I don't believe you…" He thrust my head up wards by my hair, and leaned my out of the window," What's her husband's name!?" the Joker yelled to the streets where the cops were all huddled around their cars. They seemed taken by surprise, and they all set down their coffee and donuts to answer.

"What?" Mr. Falt said picking up the mega phone," She's not married! I'm not even sure she has a boyfriend!" The chief seemed overly cooperative answering the Joker and giving out my personal information…that annoyed me greatly and I felt a giant frown come over me, as I thought how great our police force was…

"Ya see!?" I said in a cracked voice, unable to look up because the force of his hand pushing down on my head, which was leaning out the window, was so great.

He through me back in side, rather violently too. I hit the floor with force. The first thing I saw was the door, unguarded…I made a quick look towards the Joker, and scrambled towards the door. I was about to reach for the doorknob too. He got right on top of me and dragged me backwards. I couldn't help but let out a small scream.

"Oh no you don't!" he said through clenched teeth. He flipped me over and sat on me.

I struggled to get free, pushing against him and fighting off his reaching hands. I let out little yelps of struggle.

"Stop struggling! Geez!" he yelled finally getting a firm grasp on both my hands.

I stopped and looked up to him, breathing hard. I looked over to the window where he had left his knife. It glittered gray in the light from the window.

"Ohhh…You scheming little bitch…you think you can grab that from you're potion right now!?" He said letting out a laugh.

"I'm just glad it's not on me right now…" I said with a half smile, and making one more struggle to get free. It was foiled fast.

"Stop it, stop it, stop it!" he said getting closer to my face," You're making it worse for your self ya know…" He said grinning.

"No, I-" I was cut off in mid sentence when his lips met mine in a ferocious kiss.

His scars felt queer against my skin, and my eyes seemed to close involuntarily.

I could feel him try harder to get me to kiss back. I did…after about twenty more seconds. I thought to myself; if I want to get out of this I need to comply. So I let him kiss me. And I kissed back, our tongues moved in and out with each other. I finally opened my eyes, and pushed him off.

He sat up seeming satisfied with himself. He let go of my hands and I just lay there catching my breath.


	3. Chapter 3 sorry this ones so short

I laid my long coat on the floor as a bed in the dark room, and had fallen asleep fast

I laid my long coat on the floor as a bed in the dark room, and had fallen asleep fast. I awoke only once to a fuzzy noise. It was 3 o'clock in the morning; I had survived my first day of abduction. I slowly and reluctantly lifted my self to see what the noise was. My eyes met the figure lying next to me. Joker had set his coat down as a bed too, right next to me. Evil thoughts raced in to my head, of what I could do to him that moment and of what he might have done to me while I was asleep. I ignored both thoughts.

I got up silently and looked around for the location of the sound. I looked at the window and there was a walky-talky hanging by a string out side the window. My guess was that the police pulled it up there for negotiations. My first reaction was to grab it. I stanched it, after a quick look to see Joker still sleeping, and slid down on the wall, in a sitting position.

I toyed with the huge device until it suddenly made a big loud beeping noise and I held in my breath. I quickly switched the lever, frightened to death, and stared at the Joker. He was still fast asleep. I let out a small sigh of relief.

Focusing back on the walky-talky, I flipped another switch.

"Hello?" I whispered, keeping my eyes on the Joker," Hello? Mr. Falt? Is anyone there?"

"Huh?…wha?…OH!" Mr. Falt quickly awoke from a snoring slumber in the back seat of the police car. It took him awhile to grab the talky', because his belly barely fit in the seat, and he had to wipe off the donut crumbs from his suit," Hello? Uh, What? Who is this?"

"Mr. Falt!? This is May!" I said as quietly as I could," How am I going to get outta' here?"

"Don't worry we are all still down here." He reassured me like he had been devising a plan.

"Well, where's Batman!?" I asked impatiently, pulling the talky' closer to my mouth," Why isn't anyone out here trying to help me!?"

"No one knows where Batman has been, and we can't go up there to try to save you, because the Joker has rigged under the building with bombs! If any guy with a badge enters that building the place will go up in flames and destroy everything with in a 30 mile radius!" He exclaimed. I was over whelmed.

I looked over at the Joker, and my face went paler than normal. He was gone from his spot…


	4. Chapter 4

I sprang up in fear

I sprang up in fear. I glued my self to the wall.

"Hello? Hello?" came Mr. Fault's voice from the walky-talky.

"Hello…this is the Joker, please leave a message after BOOM!" The Joker had snatched the thing from my hand, chucked it out the window, and pulled out a poorly manipulated mechanical devise," See this?" he crowded up to my face, so much that I could smell his horrible breath and see in to his coal black eyes," This is what's going to blow us all to hell if your not a good hostage…You really want to feel over a thousand degrees of fire and gas burn your smooth skin?!" he put his free hand against my cheek. The purple glove was silky. The gentleness disappeared, when his grasp on my head grew stern," Do you?!" He yelled.

"N-no…" I stammered.

"….Good…now go back to bed…" he sighed and slipped the trigger in to his pocket. I walked over and slept stiffly. I watched out of the corner of my eye. He didn't move from his spot. He stood there over looking the window.

I tried to think of an escape plan. None came to mind that didn't end in flames…

My mind finally rested…for about 3 hours…then I got a crude awakening by the Joker…

"Wake up…" he nudged my side, as I lay on the cold floor curled up. I groaned. I wasn't a morning person…

"Wake up!" he said a little louder and kicked my side. I felt it but was too tired to care…I gave him another groan in response.

"DAMIT! WAKE UP!" he got on his knees and shook my shoulders. It was the weirdest thing, because my hair was all messed up, and my eyes wouldn't open up, I was so tired," That's the last time I give you sleepy pills…." He sighed as I sat up.

"What?" apparently I was so sleepy I didn't care to think about the fact that I was still abducted and with a mad man who had access to a bomb…

"Breakfast…" he slid a plate of scrambled eggs, and cooked bacon to me as I sat at the make shift table he'd made of old boards and bricks.

"How?-" I asked looking around for a stove. The room was empty, except for a few bored and cobwebs.

"They've got a kitchen in the back of the store. Just cus' I'ma psycho doesn't mean I can't cook…" He bit in to a piece of the crisp bacon.

"You know how to treat a hostage…Looks great…" I admitted…

"Thanks…" he swallowed and talked at the same time.

I ate the whole thing fast. He took the plates, and set them in the corner not wanting to leave the room. He still didn't trust me alone, and I didn't blame him.

I went back over to the coats on the ground, and sat there aimlessly.

The Joker walked over to the window. He took out a plastic bag. It had a big ball of something colorful in it. I didn't realize what it was until he torn a piece of it off, and took out a wooden slingshot. He was flinging chewed gum wads at the police down on the street. I broke out in a giggle fit.

"What?" he said looking over at me. He didn't smile, but he wanted to know what I thought was funny.

"Your shooting them with chewed gum?" I laughed.

"Ya…? So?" he questioned like it was a normal chore.

"Funny…" I said still smiling.

"Thanks…Its kinda my thing…" He turned back and aimed it at a policeman looking at a map he'd set out on the hood of his cop car.

"Can I try?" I asked puppy-ish.

"Uhhh….sure…" he said handing it to me, as I walked to the window.

I aimed it at the back of a cop's head. I let it fly, but missed the target. The gum stuck to a one of the cop cars' windshields. The only thing that made it funny was that the cop in side got out with his hands over his head ducking, like there was an aerial attack. Then he put out a hand like he was checking for rain.

The Joker and I broke out in a creepy but true cackle.

"Pretty good…" he said grinning at me.

"Ya…funny…" I smiled wide and aimed another.


	5. Chapter 5

We both sat down at in the center of the room. The light from the small window cast a glow through the room, revealing all the dust floating around. My legs were criss-crossed, and he mirrored me in a way that made me kind of freak out, and feel flirty.

"So, what are you planning to do with me?" I questioned not knowing what to do.

"Well…I'm not a man with a plan, so it all depends…" he stiffened his back and licked his lips.

"Depends on what?" I asked.

"When I don't need you anymore or the cops don't care to rescue you, then I'll get rid of you…" he explained in a mocking voice.

"Oh…." I looked down at my hands in my lap. I was going to die? I quickly changed the subject, "Why the Joker?"

"What my name?" he scrunched up his face," I always see the funny side of things…Why MAY?" He shot back with a half smile.

"Uhh…that's my birth name?" I looked at him eye brows furred.

"No…I mean, why can't you change it? Like, Quinn or something?" He looked up in the air like he was brain storming.

"Because I'm not weird, and besides, Quinn is like the stupidest name ever…" I said forgetting my manners.

"What's your middle name." He said in a cold low voice, agitated.

"….Harley…." I stared at him confused.

"Harley it is…" he smiled like he'd just accomplished a major task," Harley Quinn…"

"But-" I stopped myself when I saw his face turn slightly in a peripheral view, as he stood up.

"Uhhh…I have to go to the bath room…" I said all of a sudden. It was true. Random, but true.

"Fine…" He grabbed my hand and pulled me, not very gently, out the door, in to the old hallway, and down to the last door. He opened it up and trough me in.

"You trust me to go to the bath room by myself?" I said ignoring the fact that I sounded like I was in potty training.

"You're a big girl…but no." he took a giant step in to the tiny rest room. The sink and toilet were filthy with grime, and the old faded blue wall paper grew mildew and was peeling away from the cement walls.

The Joker shuffled over to a corner a the mirror, and faced it like he was in time out. He leaned his head against the moldy wall.

I didn't really care to stare and things at the gross room, I was more focused on the Joker standing in the corner to the right of me.

"I won't look…" He said in a more higher tone than I was used too. Almost as if to make me even more embarrassed.

I sat on the toilet…and well…did my thing…And as I watched the Joker in the corner with eagle eyes, I could tell he could see me some how. His perverted little mind wouldn't get away with it either…I flipped him off to see if he could really see me.

"Tweet tweet…Don't make me shoot the birdy…" He smirked to the wall.

My jaw dropped, I guess he was watching me.

"Perv…" I whispered.

"Are you done? I'm tired of having to baby sit you and listen to you insult me behind my back." He glowered.

"Done…" I was already washing my hands while he was talking.

We walked back in to the main room. The first thing I did was look out the window to see the progress of the cops. Sadness and anger swirled together, I peered down on the street only to see that over half of the cops had left over night!

"DAMNIT!" I yelled without caring the Joker was watching over my shoulder. I got a fright when I turned around to see his luminous tall body standing right in front of me.

"While you were asleep, I had a little fun last night." He whispered maniacally in his high tone.

"WHAT!" I screamed," YOU BASTARD!"

"Oh! OH! OH! OH. No! Not that kind of fun…" He smiled to him self like he'd just seen the gross scene in his head, " No, you were fast asleep the whole time."

I stared at him confused and suspicious.

"No, I blew up three buildings. A hospital, a retirement home, and Wayne Enterprizes." He grinned ear to ear.

"Ok? Why?" I asked.

"I don't know really…just for fun I guess…" he laughed.

"Well….ok…." I staggered for a minute by the window," is that supposed to matter to me for some reason?"

"Your hair is almost orange in the sun…" The Joker said after a long silence, picking up a lock of my hair that lay limp on my shoulder. His touch wasn't violent. He moved the strands back and forth n the sun light.

He was making a move. He lifted his other hand to my face. How come I wasn't rejecting him? He laid his smooth hand in glove on my cheek. I closed my eyes involuntarily, enjoying the feel of him against me. He let go of my hair and moved that hand around my waist, and the other one held behind my head. My eyes still closed he slowly moved his lips forward. The scars touched my skin with an odd feeling, but I gave way to his kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck and our lips moved against each other. I didn't feel us moving forward, well for him it was backwards but what ever, and our kisses didn't stop. It wasn't till I realized we were slowly moving closer to our beds that I opened my eyes.

I jolted backwards, away from his grasp, disappointedly to my surprise. I touched my still tingly lips, and savored the taste. Then I shook my head. No. He was a killer. A murderer. It's not right.

He stared at me standing by the beds. His expression was unreadable. I could only hold my hand to my lips as he brushed past me to get to his spot in front of the door.


	6. Chapter 6

"Augh

"Augh!" I let out a giant scream of terror, as Joker was smashed to the wall. Batman had done that thing again, where he pops out of nowhere, and had tackled and pinned Joker.

"What the hell!?" I screamed. Batman didn't listen or let go of the suffocating Joker. Joker breathed in the little bit of air he could. Batman's black, metallic suit was strangling the life out of Joker. Joker gripped the stern hand and arm that crushed him against the cold cement wall.

"STOP IT!" I yelled trying to make the face on Joker go away. He was smiling. And his face was beat red.

"He blew up three buildings, and killed thousands of innocent people. There's no way I'm letting this scum bag go." Batman glowered in his deep angry voice.

"You're hurting him!" I screamed, tears in my eyes. I pulled hard at Batman's cape, but it didn't faze him.

"What'd you mean? He likes it…" Batman pushed harder against Joker's neck.

"Heh heh, don't worry Quinn, I don't feel pain," He laughed through the neck grasp.

"I don't care!" I jumped on Batman's back and punched him in the head as hard as I could, anything to keep him from Joker. Batman let go of Joker. He pulled me over him, and my black skirt ripped off on his pointy ear on his mask. I fell on to the floor, but didn't stay there for long. I shot up quick, realizing the breeze. I put my hands over my slim lime green panties with ruffles and a heart. I could feel my face blush pink.

"HAAHAHA!" Joker broke out laughing on the floor; he rolled around a few times and pointed.

Batman stared at me, and put his hand over his mouth like he was trying to hide a grin. He turned around quick and bent over laughing.

"SHUT UP!" I yelled. I ripped off Batman's cape with one hand, and the other still trying to cover my…underwear... Joker didn't stop laughing and Batman was still trying to look at me with out laughing. I spun cape around my waist and started to run to the door. I didn't get far because then my shirt, the flimsy thing, caught on a pole sticking out of one of the support beams to the room. I heard a huge ripping sound.

"HAAAAAHHAHAHAH!!" Joker let out another laugh and was rolling on the floor still, holding his gut, his face as red as his lipstick.

"HAHAHAH!" Batman let out a deep laugh and leaned against the wall laughing.

My shirt was hanging on the pole while I tried to cover my chest. My matching green bra was exposed to the two men…my face felt hot and my heart raced in embarrassment. I hid behind the support beam my back to the wall, listening to them laugh.

"SHUT UP YOU FAGS!" I screamed holding back tears. I pulled the long cape up to under my arms and stepped out. I wanted soooo bad to kick both of them in head and let them see how funny it would be then.

"Sorry…it's just…. I've never gotten a girl to take her clothes off as fast as you!" Batman burst out laughing.

"I…I love the way…when she…." Joker couldn't stop laughing," Love the underwear!"

"GOD! You freakin' morons!" I stammered. I turned away again, careful for any more mishaps. I didn't get very far because Batman had his foot on the cape. It fell off leaving me in my underwear again. I stopped and didn't turn around. I'm sure if you looked close you could see the steam lines coming off my head. I will kick his ass….I thought.

"Ok…dude, now that was a little too much," the Joker wiped away a tear from laughing so hard.

"HAHHHAAA!" Batman let out," Ooopss!"

I turned around slowly an evil frown underneath my long blond hair. My fists knuckled. Clothes or no clothes he was going to get a foot up his ass.

I tackled him, and he fell backwards. My hands clashed against his mask hard, but I didn't feel the pain. Apparently he didn't either, because he just tried to struggle. He grabbed my arms and tried to turn me over away from his face. Joker stood up and watched, arm crossed like it was a show. I closed my eyes and hit him as hard as I could, not caring how and where. I heard a clicking sound and something went loose. I opened my eyes to see he'd cut both my bra straps. IT WAS ON!! I kneed him in the balls when we both stood up. Joker was laughing maniacally in the background. I pushed him against the wall, and took his gun that was at his side.

"FCK YOU!" I pointed the gun at him and pulled the trigger. It got him in the chest and he went flying out the window backwards.

"………..Wow……" Joker came up behind me and set his coat around my shoulders. I dropped the gun exhausted.

"Thanks…."


	7. Chapter 7

At dinner Joker dressed me

At dinner Joker dressed me. A decision I regret. Letting a man like the disorientated, color blind, mismatched Joker pick out clothes for me was a horrible idea.

"What the?" I held up the costume. It looked like a cross between a jumpsuit and a jester out fit. It was red and black with Ace signs on the leg and shoulder," Did you make this yourself or did you buy it from a Halloween store!?" I asked.

"Well…actually I did make it…." He leaned in over my shoulder looking at it. His face was awfully close to mine.

"I guess it will do," I sighed. I wasn't about to be picky. I was still half naked in a room, being held hostage by a crazy guy who wears makeup, and wasn't about to turn down clothes. I slipped the suit on. It had a hood like thing that came over my head. The most ridiculous thing I'd ever seen too. It had two long dangly things hanging from the hat with bells on them. Other than the hat, though, the out fit was comfortable, and fit perfectly," It fits perfectly…hmmm…. How did you know what size I was?" I looked at him suspiciously. He was hunched over, his hands behind his back, and had watched me dress.

"Oh, I don't know…Lucky guess?" He grinned at me. His green hair hung in his face a little. I handed his purple coat back to him, that I had been using as an overcoat while waiting for some clothes.

"Uh-huh…sure." I rolled my eyes, not wanting to think to hard about it.

The costume was a spandex kind of texture. It seemed to show off all my curves, something I'm sure he planned.

"So Harley…do you like it?" Joker whispered coming up beside me, as I looked myself down. He seemed very interested in my smile and my face.

"Umm…yea, I…. love it…" I lied. It made me look fat if you wanted my opinion.

He put his hands on my shoulders and led me over to the beds. We both kneeled down on the makeshift blankets and fabrics.

His makeup was smeared and looked like it was melting, and his permanent smile made it hard to depict his real emotion. He put his hands in his lap, and licked his dry lips.

There was a lot to talk about. But where to start, and what about?

:

(sorry for the kind of sudden end to this chapter, readers. I've been in this epic battle with writers block for a while and the sad truth is it's winning. Any ideas? Joker's gotta make a move sometime. But talking is always the best way to get to a girl…what should they talk about!? --; I'm so lost here. Need help. PLEASE!)


	8. Chapter 8

I jumped up in the dark. What had happened? I looked at the ground where Joker was asleep…in nothing but his heart covered boxers …. on our makeshift bed. I looked at my self. I was naked. Crap.

I grabbed his under shirt and put it on, buttoning it up the front. He's good… I stood there admiring his sleeping figure with a smile of disbelief. That's when I herd a noise out side. I went to the window. It had to be Batman.

"Come back for a second helping of kiss-ass?" I said out the open window. Nothing. Just the cool air of the night on my face. I looked up just in time to be ripped from the window. I let out a scream, hoping Joker would here it. The wind seemed to drown it out. I stared up at my rescuer/capturer. It was Batman, swinging me away and down on to the street. A crowd of cops surrounded us in rejoice.

"No!" I screamed," Why'd you do that! I didn't want to be rescued, I didn't need to be rescued!" I thrashed at Batman, who had his arm around my shoulder posing for a news photo.

"Most people would be thanking me right now." Batman said in his cool and low voice. He smiled after me, as I stomped off. He grabbed one of the police blankets from one of the three ambulances that were parked in front of the store.

"Hey, I'm sorry. I'm just trying to protect you." He cooed, and wrapped it around my shoulders. I turned to him furious.

"I was fine. We were getting along and you went and ruined it!" I yelled flailing my arms. I tried to walk away again, but he grabbed my shoulder.

"Listen! I just risked my life for yours, can I at least get a thank you?" he glared down at me a little too nicely.

"I'm fine…" I closed my eyes and held my forehead," Ok…I just want to go home now." I said as I watched Joker on the roof, climbing down it and escaping in to an alley.

"Ok. I'll take you." Batman said calmly and put his arm around my waist and we glided to my apartment.

It took longer than normal. I lived like two blocks away from the store, and it took us twenty minutes at least to get to my front door. Stalling must be his thing.

"Thanks," I said coldly, and opened the unlocked door to my apartment.

"You're welcome…I'll forgive you." He said as I was about to close the door on him.

"For what? I didn't do anything to you…" I sighed angrily.

"I'll for give you for being rude to me two nights ago…and tearing off my cape, and shooting me." He said coolly.

"I'm not sorry for anything!" I yelled hot headed," You had it coming! The way you tried to rip my close off!"

"I don't recall." Batman grinned; I could tell he was remembering.

"Screw you!" I slammed the door in his face, tired of the all the crap I went through.

I threw myself on the couch crying. How come when every I find the right guy, he's taken from me? And then all the other guys have to go and ruin it and rub it in my face.

:::::::::

2 years later.

::::::::

"Hey Harley, you're need in room 108." Called the scratchy voice on the intercom.

I strode down the long narrow halls of Arkham. Two years since my hostage with the Joker. Two long years dealing with the torment of Batman hitting on me. My long golden blond hair was tied up in a tight bun, as usual. My reading glasses were on, and my white nurse like dress uniform was camouflaged against the bright whiteness of the walls. I had quit my job as secretary at the police station that night after I was 'saved'. I didn't want to put up with the glare of Batman. The thought of him looking at me, and knowing he was seeing me half naked again creeped me out. Since then, I had become a psychiatric therapist at Arkham.

"What is it?" I asked as I entered the main room at the gates of Arkham prison. I leaned over the papers set before me by the security guard.

"Another psycho coming from Gotham city. Another one for your class." He laughed.

"Ya…Open the doors." I said coldly and annoyed.

He pressed the button under the front desk and the electric gates out side creaked open. A big truck with soldiers running beside it pulled in. All the soldiers crowded around the back door and aimed their guns as the prisoner was escorted in the gates.

I still stood in the tiny office control center as all the soldiers, still pointing their guns at the man, scooted along past us. I stared in wonder at the new arrival. The heavy, steal, chains wrapped around the man clanked on the ground as they walked. *Great another nut case* for me to crack…I sighed to myself. Then I caught a glimpse of the prisoner's hair….a dark and messy green….


	9. Chapter 9

**(hey readers, sorry i dont update as much as i would like, and i just wanted to get this off my chest: iv been having some 'complaints' about the way i write. i dont want to sound rude, but i do this for my fun, not so much yours. well half of it is for you guys i guess,but what i do is i write for myself, i dont have very good imagery for your guys sake, those of you who have seen what joker looks like should imagine what he looks like yourself in the story. dont be lazy and expect me to wirte out what he looks like when you have a perfectly functionaly and wonderful imagination of your own. and sorry for poor grammer, spelling, etc. ^^ oh and please write NICE reviews. this is like my favorite story out of all my other ones and i dont appreciate people dissing it. but do feel free to review!)  
**

"So Mr. J…..Why are you here…." I sat in my big armchair, one leg over the other, and I kept my eyes on my paper. I tried to act professional. The questions for him I wanted to ask wouldn't be acceptable for the session. Did he even remember me?

" I thought I'd take a little time off from my everyday routine of mayhem in Gotham and come here for a break…." His voice was so calm and brought back memories of our time together. I couldn't help but look up for a second, just to see his face, his expression. The dark room was to poorly lit to tell what his face looked like, but I was sure it was a smile…like always. The room was small, with padded, black walls, brown carpet, my leather armchair, one tiny, wooden coffee table in-between me and Joker, and then Joker on the black leather couch.

"No, you're here for…" I stared down at the papers. I had read them a thousand times since he'd gotten here, but had to make it seem like I had no time to read them before. I gulped despite myself," holding up two boats, rigged them with explosives, pinning them against each other, and expecting one to blow up the other before time runs out…And several other felonies." I flipped through the papers. _Clever_ I thought, but didn't dare say.

He didn't say anything.

"So would you like to talk about it?" I asked, this was just part of the routine of a session.

"No…." he said matter-a-factly.

"Then what would you like to talk about? We still have 55 minutes." I said in a soothing voice.

"Lets talk about…you." He said in a mischievous tone. I stared up at the small, camouflaged video camera up in one of the corners nervously.

"Ok…" I said confidently, taking off my glasses. This could be my chance, my chance to see if he remembered," I was born in Oregon, I have a cat named Oreo, my favorite color is red, and I love Italian…"

"Hmmm…. interesting, but not what I was looking for." He scooted out of his chair a little," Have you done something you regret?" He half smiled in the dark.

I was silent. Lots of things I'd done I regret, but one stood out from the rest.

"Meeting you…." I sighed, tears of lost love swelling up in my eyes.

There was a long silence.

"I fell in love with you 2 years ago in Gotham, we spent almost a week together! Don't you remember? Harley?" I let out in a burst of sadness. I brought my hands to my face to cover up my tears.

He sat there listening to my crying for a little while, and finally got up and sat in front of my on his knees. Sadness was something he'd lived with his whole life, but he always was one to be 'all smiles'.

Joker took my hands away from my face. Something that signaled to me that the one I loved, the one I knew when I was a captive, was still there. I quickly looked up at the cameras in fear. He followed my stare, and took off his purple coat and threw it up on to the camera.

I sniffled and felt a small smile come across my face.

"No I don't remember." He said in a concerned voice. This was expected…he probably had held thousands of hostages since me.

Tears started up again.

I'd have to make him remember. I paused and stared at his sad eyes, and permanent smile that I knew so well. I grabbed his face and touched my lips to his. I kissed his lipstick-covered face, and he reached up and pulled my bun loose. My long, blond hair curled down behind me. Finally, after a long kiss, I got off the chair and got on my knees as well. We locked arms around each other, and I pressed my face against his chest. _Don't leave me…_


	10. Chapter 10

Joker walked down the long narrow hallway in to the cafeteria, escorted by two big, buff security men. Joker had a straight jacket that was required by the state jail to wear. He didn't mind, he told me often in the many other therapy sessions we had that it was snug and it was like giving himself a big hug that lasted a long time.

They reached the main door, and the other security guard pressed the button under his desk in his small windowed office next to the door. They all scooted in, and Joker took note of the button.

"Here you go pussy." One of the guards pushed Joker in to the line for food, and Joker bumped in to the man in front of him.

The big bold man looked down at him, he had a scar across his whole face, and was at least six foot twelve. He stared down at Joker with a mongrel look.

"Uhh…hi…." Joker said with a half smile, and he had trouble keeping his balance in his straight jacket.

The man just turned back around in line.

Joker looked around, he had been here many times, but every time he returned everything seemed different. He'd just have to show different that it's just like everyone else when in comparison with him.

There were many criminals all over, only a few had straight jackets like him. They were all mingling in the giant room, eating at their tables. Joker couldn't help but notice each guard that surrounded every inch of the place; they all stood there in place like statues and had blank expressions.

Joker got his food, and carrying the tray with his mouth took a seat at a table he always used to sit at.

"Hello again old chum…" Penguin sat next to him bored out of his mind.

"Hey…" Joker looked around at the guards and slipped a paper clip out of his mouth and used it to unlock his straight jacket. Once the thing was off, he sat straight and tall so he could eat comfortably.

"Got any…plans….?" Penguin asked quietly though him and Joker were the only ones sitting at the table.

"Nope…." Joker sighed, though he wasn't sure if he was lying or not.

"Hmmm…" Penguin shoved some anchovies in to his mouth.

Joker was doing the same with a piece of bread he had spread some jelly on, when a short man with a bandana on his head, and baggy pants came up behind him and took it out of his hands.

"Excuse me…that is mine." Joker turned politely.

"What are you gonna do….Pops….You gonna make me laugh to death?" the guy shoved the piece of bread in to his mouth smiling, and the three other men behind him laughed.

"I might just have to…" he turned back to his meal," Punks…." He whispered.

"Hey don't you turn your back on me Pops!" the guy came up to Joker and turned him around.

"Watch it." Joker shoved him off and turned back around.

"GET 'EM!" all the men tore Joker down from his seat and threw him to down to the cold cement floor. One of the bigger stronger men, with short black hair picked Joker up by the collar, and threw him to the wall.

The cops just stood there.

"There's a tussle in the cafeteria," he heard one walky talky buzz from one of the near by cops that was standing there doing nothing.

All the prisoners punched him and kicked him, and slowly…a smile grew on his face and he began to laugh.

"Look, crazy pops likes it!" one of them yelled, and they all broke out laughing. One came up and poured one of the milk cartons on his head.

"Hey! Stop it!" a voice from behind the crowd cried. It was Harley.

"Aww, you have your women get save you?" one of the punks laughed. Harley pushed her way through the crowd and bent down next to Joker who was sitting leaning against the prison wall surrounded by the bullies. She wore a tight white uniform, required of the 5th floor personnel, and her hair was pulled back again. One of the men in the crowd let out a whistle as she bent down to help Joker.

She pulled him up, and let him lean on her. The men in the crowd wouldn't move so she had to push her way through them, and she could feel their grasps at her thighs and ass, but she couldn't do anything because she was to busy hold up Joker.

"You got it good, pops," the short prisoner yelled after us," You won't have that nice when you come back."


	11. Chapter 11

(Hello! Sorry I havn't updated in awhile, but ya…the word of the day (BTW) is wanker! PS: Kara S.! Do NOT READ! NO NO! BAD!)

I leaned over Joker with a wet cloth, and tried to wipe away the milk the prisoner's poured on his hair. He sat on the couch in her box like office, staring straight forward at the straining white walls.

"Why didn't you fight them?" I asked in a annoyed voice, but really I was more worried than anything.

"I've lost my touch…" He whispered in too my ear. His voice left a tingly feeling running through my head," I have no spark anymore."

"Nonsense," I contradicted, as I wiped off the little splats of blood stained on his pant legs," you're just in a root. You should try loosening up a bit." I realized how close I was him.

"How?…" He whispered like a child. His hand met mine on his leg, and I could feel him pulling it closer to his wanker. I couldn't do anything. I didn't want to do anything.

I looked up at his face longing, but this felt so bittersweet. Feeling his wanker get harder, I swooned. Suddenly I found myself sitting on his lap, facing him. I brought my face to his in a sweet kiss. Each moment we spent with each other was like electricity running through my body. Small shocks traveled through me, as he placed his hands on my back pulling me closer on him.

I got up quickly and slid off my dress, while he hurriedly unbuttoned his shirt and unzipped his pants.

"Cameras?" He said, multi tasking.

"No, private room," I said in a reassuring voice, glad that for once we'd have some alone time.

We ran into the wall as we proceeded to kiss. His hands running up and down my body slowly, and his hands finding their way easily. I found I was more focused on his lips than anything. Before long, we were on the couch, him on top. He undid my bra and stripped off my panties. Though this was the best moment, it brought back torture-some memories of that one night with batman. I ignored the feelings, and let him have his way with me.

The couch moved as our waists met. I felt it inside me, and let out a moan. The hug grin on his scared face would have made other girls scream, but all I wanted was him. His deranged laughs, sarcastic remarks, and psychotic rampages…What was wrong with me?

"Who's in there!" a voice boomed on the other end of the office door. The guards had notice Joker had gone missing, and were now banging on my door.

"Shit!" Joker and I whispered at the same time. He jumped off of me, and grabbed his pants, slipping them on speedily.

I couldn't get my dress back on before the guards broke in though.

"What the hell!?" the first guard took one look and aimed his gun at Joker who was just buttoning up his shirt," Freeze!" he looked at me," Are you ok mam'?" he still aimed the gun at Joker who had his hands up. Several other guards came in, and my boss. Could this day get any worse!? I tried to grab my dress quickly, but fell off the couch clumsily.

I managed to scramble to my dress and cover most of myself.

"Harley!? What is this!?" my boss asked looking at me and then Joker. He didn't move but his eyes were on me sympathetically," Take him away! Give him the electric chair! Charge him with rape." My boss yelled at the guards but still faced me.

The guards like robots, cuffed Joker and literally threw him at the doorway. He hit his head on the side of the wall, drawing blood.

"NO!" I screamed still holding my dress up. I tried to run to him, but my boss held me back with a steady arm," I love him!" I yelled.

"No, you don't. What ever he did to you, we'll get you therapy for it. Don't worry. We can sue-" I cut his feeble attempt to persuade me off, and went on ranting pointlessly.

"NO! You don't understand! We were just-" I was cut off by him then.

"You obviously need help. What ever he's done to you, or drugged you with have made you crazy…" He had the guards take my arms then," Bring her down to the cellar bins, and have her stay in there for a while. I'll arrange something to be done to her later. We have to deal with her rapist first."

I screamed and yelled and struggled, but couldn't break free. Tears ran down my face in a fit. Maybe I was crazy. None of this might not be happening to me. Maybe I'm not being dragged down the hallway of an insane asylum, naked, my love going off to die, and me about to be tortured. I knew what the cellar bin was. It was a nightmare I had seen to often, but the only thing on my mind as they threw me in it's dark clutches, was Joker's life.


	12. Chapter 12

I sat up in the darkness of the cellar bin; my eyes wide open but not seeing anything. I could feel the padded material underneath me. I was afraid to move. I was afraid to breath. They often left many people in here at once. Was I alone?

I couldn't hear anything over the loudness of my beating heart. The silence seemed to go on forever, so I sat there.

My hands shook. I decided to move, so I dug my fingernails in to the padded floor. I ripped the stitches. Slowly, I tore away a large piece of the floor, revealing the smelly matted clumps of cotton underneath. I sat up on my knees so I could get more leverage, and I scooted back with each tug. Soon I had a large enough piece to use as a blanket and a cloth.

My eyes had somewhat adjusted to the dimness of the room, but I could only see shadows. My fingers were bleeding. I could feel the syrupy blood under my broken fingernails. I slipped each finger one by one into my mouth, and then wiped them on the cloth.

Just when I was sure I was alone, I felt a tug on the cloth. A small one, but I could feel it from behind me. I spun around in fear, breathing hard and pulling the cloth over my naked body. I curled up next to the padded wall.

"W-who's there!?" I stuttered. My eyes were wide open again trying to catch a glimpse of any moving shadows. Was my mind teasing me?

"Riddle me this~ what is true about a question and an answer?" a cool liquidly voice whispered.

I panted as quietly as I could in my fear.

"You can't have one without the other…" the voice came into my ear like mist. I turned around with a small scream.

"Even if the question should change, the answer will change with it," the voice continued.

"Who are you!" I whispered my eyes shut tight, and the cloth pulled over my head like a little child.

"Why…isn't that a riddle in itself…" The Riddler sat across from me. He combed his fingers through his red hair. It had grown out a little too much for his liking since he had been in the cellar. I can remember being there too. Being there…when they put him in here a month ago. Was it really that long ago?

"So…Catwoman…." The Riddler's small green mask some how glimmered in the little light that there was," What took you so long?"

"I'm not-" I tried to protest but his hand met my mouth. This small gesture brought back wonderful memories of the Joker and I when he had held me captive.

"Shhh…" he leaned over me and ran his fingers through my blond hair.

Of course I didn't fight him. From what my hands could feel he seemed to be a very sexy person. Plus I learned from past experience that sometimes, if you just go with the flow; good things happen.

He slowly ran his hand down the side of my face then letting it wonder down my neck and finally down my chest. It stopped at my side when his lips met mine. His body was completely over mine now, and he was a surprisingly good kisser. He bit my lower lip slightly, as I wrapped my legs around his waist. His spandex had fooled me a little in to thinking he was naked too, but apparently that suit of his has a zipper. I heard him slip it off in the darkness.

He had pushed me up against the padded wall. The cloth and his suit were both on the ground now, and I was in the air…well against the wall being held up. He looked so skinny on the T.V. when I turned on the news. I was surprised when he was able to hold me up to the wall, with my legs still wrapped around him. My hands curiously felt his body. The Riddler's arms were so flexed and felt so muscular. His chest was smooth and his hair smelt good despite he'd been in this cellar for a while.

After he had came in side me he abruptly but gently dropped me to the floor, he sat down too.

"You were pretty good," He said panting a little.

"Thank you." I replied quietly seeing as he might realize I wasn't Cat Woman from my voice.

"Do you have any means of escape, since you obviously don't have the key?" He asked a little annoyed.

"Um,…I could…claw my way out with my…cat claws?" I said scared since I new I couldn't do anything, and he would find out sooner or later when the guards came in to feed us.

"Look Deary, I know you're not Cat Woman…I'm not stupid…" He smirked with half smile.

I froze in embarrassment and fear. If he knew it was me, why hadn't he stopped or did he just realize?

"Ha ha, my eyes have somewhat gotten used to this dim lighting so I can see pretty well now. From what I can see you're not Cat Woman," he laughed amused

with my silence," Plus Cat Woman has a scar on her side in the shape of an 'x' from the last time she tussled with the Penguin. I'd say…." He pondered for a moment," you are…one of the psychiatric therapists here at Arkham."

"I-I'm sorry…" I whispered holding myself against the wall readying myself to run. Why run though…this is a box. He could easily kill me in here.

"Why, what for?" he leaned against the opposite wall his hand on his head. We were both still nude," last I saw you; you were very successful. I should be the one apologizing to you. Tell me, how in the world did you get locked in here, naked, with me?"

"…Joker…" His name rolled off my tongue softly.

"Ahh, I see now. You are in love with him?"

"Yes…" I was in a daze now. Joker was still in trouble!" Can you help me please! He's going to die if I don't help him!"

There was a silence. The Riddler scooted close to me.

"I'll help you," he held my face to his, gently lifting my chin with his hand," since Mrs. Cat is probably not going to show up."

"Thank you…" I spoke softly.


End file.
